buying you a drink is different than going halfsies.
If a guy offers to buy you a drink, you might be confused when he decides to transfer half the contents from his glass into yours, and then fish out of your glass with a straw to reclaim some of the lost mint leaves from his cocktail. Hand it back, head to the bar and start a tab of your own.
Don't wait for them to move away.
So let's say there's an uber hot guy that is exactly your type, but you shy away from flirting with him or giving your number because you have a boyfriend and are fully aware that's bad gf behavior. When you finally get out of your deadend relationship with your i-banker boyfriend you should pursue him. Otherwise you might discover one day that he's moving to (NYC/LA/SD) and the opportunity is lost. And every so often are reminded via social media that he's still hot, still completely your type, still a catch, but now across the country.
tech conferences = goldmine.
This is one Silicon Valley/SF event where the ratio is guaranteed to be in your favor... and the benefits don't stop at the lack of line for the ladies. Attend a tech conference and between the actual conference and the after parties you'll likely end up with a plethora of new numbers texting you to make plans throughout the week. Milk it for all its worth: its not every week you get to go to dinner with the guy from the exhibitors area, hit it off with someone at the networking event that follows suit, and hit the dancefloor with yet another hot nerd at the after party. Regardless of whether their background is technical guys who attend these things are generally smart, motivated and will shower you with compliments.
groupons + first date = red flag.
On the date, you offer to split the remainder of the bill but he insists on covering it... but also makes sure to remark the price of the glasses of wine vs. a bottle, and verbalizes the final amount as he signs for it.
Post- date you get this text... yikes.
it's okay to poke for closure.
You have a great couple dates with a guy and think things went well, so expect he'll call... but he never does, and basically falls off the face of the earth. You assume he's just not that into you (it's true, otherwise he'd want to see you again) but kinda want to know what happened. Wait awhile, then casually reach out about something you discussed- he just might get back to you with a respectable explanation that has little to do with you. Which means you can stop overanalyzing whether you had a half glass of wine too many or if its because you seemed clueless when he brought up the attack in Norway.
your newsfeed might depress you.
Constant updates from friends that are getting engaged, changing their last names, posting wedding photos, buying a house and having babies might lead to social comparison and give you the impression you're "behind". A Stanford University study even found that browsing Facebook and other social-networking sites can contribute to feelings of unhappiness or low self-esteem. Don't be discouraged! People generally tend to think others’ lives are happier than they actually are. Know that you're fabulous and not everyone has the same timeline.
shared interests = efficiency.
Everyone loves multitasking. Like when you're training for an Ironman and decide pursuing a triathlon boyfriend (TBF) is a smart way to fit a relationship into your already non-existant free time. Sometimes none of the candidates for your similar-interest-activity end up working out during the peak season which can be disappointing... but after the race is over and done with, if you happen to meet a hottie that frequents M2 spin class, go for it- there will be plenty of seasons ahead!
be open to unconventional set ups.
Like when you get an out-of-the-blue Facebook message from someone claiming to be a matchmaker that has a great guy to set you up with. And she invites you to grab dinner to meet him along with a group of people you've also never met. Even if it doesn't end up evolving into anything, and you're still not quite sure how the whole thing came about in the first place, it sure makes for a great story. And hey, you're putting yourself out there!
you probably love social media.
As a modern San Franciscan, your day probably looks a lot like this. And as a single San Franciscan, you probably have a lot more to Tweet and Facebook post about than your coupled off counterparts who share every detail with each other, instead of the entire world via internet.
be wary of newly single dudes.
If a friend sets you up with someone fantastic but through the grapevine (or through some brief Facebook stalking) you learn he just got our of a relationship... hold the excitement. Especially if it lasted 4 years, or they lived together, or the breakup was recent (or all of the above). Chances are he isn't looking to settle down and be exclusive with anyone just yet. Know he's playing the field and if it's meant to be maybe it will work out later.
choose your roommates wisely.
In San Francisco rents can be steep so many single gals opt for shared living situations. Which can be fun! And lanning a trip to Costa Rica with your roommate and very close friend is a great idea. Having the guy you've been interested in and seeing on/off for the past 2 years decide to come along and join the two of you also seems grand. However finding out the two of them started hooking up while on the trip in front of you? Time to find a studio!
nicknames are key for stories.
Names can be confusing when your friends are getting the update on your dating life. It's far more entertaining to catch up on what ended up happening with "Elevator Crush" or the fact that "The Experiment" is still consistently texting. However, remind friends to drop the nicknames if your relationship starts to evolve. When someone starts dating you and finds out he's only referred to as "Tahoe Guy," he might be less than thrilled.
dating develops skills.
Like sales. And interviewing! You have to pay attention to how you present and sell yourself. You spend a good chunk of time finding quality prospects in order to fill your pipeline, have different stages for each opportunity, you must follow up in a timely manner to keep interest, and sometimes there's disappointment but other times you can close the deal. ABC. Always Be Closing. Can we get a Salesforce account for this?
OK Trends is a fascinating read.
OK Cupid has a blog where they share conclusions from their user data- it's pure genius (and a hilarious read). OK Trends will give you all sorts of data based on the answers their userbase provides on the site, which includes really interesting observations. Like one's answer to the question "do you like the taste of beer?" is apparently an indicator of whether or not a girl will sleep with you on a first date.
people find you entertaining.
Single people in San Francisco are absolutely more interesting than people in couples. Dating stories from singles are hilarious and a great conversation topic whether it's over drinks, brunch or an afternoon read on a blog. Still single and still in San Francisco, I've decided to continue where my previously co-authored blog left off. Here's to more stories and hilarious recounts of being a single girl in the City by the Bay. And entertaining everyone else.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)